I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
