the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
