I'm gonna have a badass scar
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
