The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize