I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
