we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
