Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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