I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
