just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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