Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
