I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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