two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
