remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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