Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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