I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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