I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize