I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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