Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.