Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
