After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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