she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
