oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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