Me. At least after what I've been through.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
