You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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