Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
