ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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