I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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