i think my mom watched the whole time
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I smell like Dick and happiness
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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