Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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