You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
