I am spending my child support on dildos
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
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I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
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I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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