Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
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you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
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I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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