quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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