We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
