hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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