that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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