I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
