If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
