i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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