I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
