i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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