I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
