i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
