thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
