I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
pray to the hookup gods
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
