I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize