you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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