She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Panties = found
Randomize
