I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
