We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
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she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
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AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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