i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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