Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
