Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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