okay pat passed out under dana's car
I bet he comes in French.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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