Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
As shirtless as possible
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
