She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
