Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
