Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
