Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
