maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
