I cockslap morals
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I want her autograph on my taint
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
