I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
